®

Home
List of Songs
Bios
Video
Audio
Sexy Pics
Show Schedule
Get Updates
Contact and Booking
Promo Graphics
(The Devistating) Lixx Bio
 
 

In mid-July during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants in a secret lab off the beaten path Lixx was fabricated out of a wash basin and a piece of 4 year old well marbled brie.  He was immediately handed a bass guitar, a record player, and a stack of Iron Maiden albums.  The last bit is especially amazing since this was thousands of years before Iron Maiden or the NWOBHM even existed.  I can already hear some jackass noting that the bass guitar didn't really exist until Leo Fender released the P-bass upon the world in 1951.  You are wrong.  The bass guitar has existed for eons.  The design for the P-bass was given to Leo Fender by a intergalactic traveling salesman in exchange for a pound of salt peter.  Salt peter is quite valuable in the vacuous depths of deep space.  Seriously.

 

Lixx spent many years shreddinating out every Iron Maiden bassline imaginable.  Then he moved onto Metallica.  And Barry Manilow.  And Pat Metheny.  And Led Zeppelin.  And that one band because those guys are awesome.  Honing his mad skilz to a razor sharp edge.  Kind of like a stack of pastries.  After completing his victory over the various challenges of playing the bass guitar he decided it might be a good time to set forth and bring a healthy dose of The Rocktm upon the unsuspecting ears of the world.  As a side note: Lixx does not get into battles/arguments/fights/confrontations/etc... he gets into "victories".  Like a cheap whore from Barcelona he gave himself to any band that would take him.  As luck would have it lots of bands need a bass player who knows where all the notes go.  Who knew?  What bands?  Wouldn't you like to know.  You know if you've witnessed Lixx in action before because it changed your life.  That one day when you saw a band and thought, "DAMN, that bass player is good!" then suddenly your girlfriend/wife was pregnant, your fridge was empty, credit cards missing, and your car was sold on eBay by nefarious peoples... yeah, I'm just sayin'.

 

As time passed Lixx became bored with the various musical activities that he had surrounded himself with.  It was time to move on.  Time to branch out and do other things - and quite possibly stop and set fire to the roses.  Because honestly who wants to smell them?  They make your head congested and nose run.

 

One fateful day Lixx came across Mr. Platinum who was in dire need of a band.  Turns out Lixx had a couple former band mates who were also looking for work.  Also turns out that bad ass sounds happened when everyone got together.  Also also turns out that the world was finally ready for a resurgence of Aqua Net fueled metal.  Also also also turns out that Lixx looks rather dashing in frilly pirate shirts, ripped jeans, and eye liner.

 

The end.